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I’m a signed up Pastafarian, as many of you regular readers will know.

Having been touched by his noodly appendage I find it offensive that spaghetti is shown on television, without uttering the arrrgh oh his noodliness as is required by my religion.

I therefore insist that all references and images of spaghetti portrayed or otherwise displayed in the media include this reference so as not to offend my religious beliefs.

Thank you

…and don’t you dare say my religious beliefs are any less valid or real than yours.